[Phone!!! But ah, no, he sees the word "help" and he's sliiightly more attentive. As much as he can be, half-asleep. And his typing skills still don't improve—]
[He's getting the feeling he's missing some really important context here, but as he is not in the business of asking people about their boners, he'll skip wondering how these things are related. Perfect!]
do yuou need me to cmoe fight somthineg with a broom i'm afraid a brooms thebest i can d o ons hort notice
[Monty is at the ball in a fabulous outfit of black and gold, with black velvet breeches and a lace cravat made by the finest tailor Monty could find. Who he now owes a spectacular amount of coin he doesn't have, but no matter - something's bound to turn up before anyone shanks him for it, and one must be properly attired for a gala.
It's been a splendid time so far. He's thoroughly foxed on the free drinks, having stolen nowhere near enough canapes to mop them up, and he's stolen three mistletoe kisses with two absurdly curvy young maidens and... one unsettlingly muscular octogenarian but there's no need to dwell on that.
The problem now is that there's a dusting of gold glitter all over him - across his shoulders, in his hair, and no one to dance with. Everyone's paired off in advance of him reaching the floor.
Or almost everyone. Across the way he spots a tall, dark, somewhat gangly figure and - praise any old god who might be listening - he recognises him. The other boy might even told him his name, once. A few times, even.
No matter. Monty pursues him across the floor.]
Hey, you there. Tree person. Um. Forest boy? I say, hold on a moment, won't you?
[Merlin's dark suit is nothing special, as far as party clothes go—he's fancy enough to not be mistaken as a waiter, at least, but he's as far from ostentatious as he could manage while being thoroughly heckled to buy something besides the cheapest tunics he can find. At this point in the evening he's gotten used to formalwear, and there's a fair dusting of glitter on his shoulders and in his hair that he only half-heartedly tried to brush off the first time it fell over the crowd.
But really what he's doing is just milling around, idle. He's not interested in winding up on the floor in record time, so the free drinks are out, and the longer this party goes on, the more people are retiring to privacy for one reason or another... hmm.
He doesn't turn for "tree person," but "forest boy" right after does get him to look around, somehow. Maybe later he'll stop and think about just how many ridiculous things he'll answer to, but-]
Yes, it was something like that. Hello, it's splendid to see you with less bruises. Dance with me?
[If there were a bush to beat around when it comes to asking the important questions, Monty would have just set it on fire. But he's glitter-addled and the need is pressing.
He's also about 5'6"]
There are plenty of men dancing with men here so no one will mind, although if you could stoop a bit that might be for the best.
It isn't something like that, it is that. Honestly, you could at least listen to me one time.
[He has to make this objection, despite a) answering to "forest boy" and b) being a curmudgeon about people making a fuss about his very name all the time, anyway. Please, just listen once. But this seems to be his only objection, as he moves away from whatever quiet spot he was about to loiter in and closer to Monty, ostensibly to actually dance.]
[Be reasonable. Monty tries to make the comment chastising, which is very hard when his mouth is also attempting to smile its way right across his face. No other objections? Good.
Oh also, Merlin's being the lady in this equation. Or that's how he's going to try to set his arms up.]
If you'd like both of us to trip, be my guest. [He might trip on his own, is what he means. Doubly serious when Monty arranges them the way he does, as Merlin is already not an expert in modern dance, as it were—]
I only know the man's steps, by which I mean I've only known them for about an hour or two and only for one go.
[Which is also not an objection - the glitter's still falling, although not as energetically as before, which might have something to do with it - but something like a... warning? Can Monty be patient for his clumsy limbs?]
[Monty's only an expert in 18th century steps, which were largely dancing round in circles if you watch Austen adaptations, so Merlin may (may) be fine.].
People are doing things I've never seen before out there. I think the main thing is, hm.
[If he's to do it at all properly then he'd better step back and bow - which he does - before attempting to sweep Merlin up and vaguely launch both of them into the music, trusting it will work itself out.]
Have I stolen a dance partner from some fair maiden, then? Point her out, we can wave as we pass.
[Merlin makes a face at first, lips pursed, eyebrows raised - yes, people sure are doing things he's never seen before out in public, very lewd and private things - but he's just going to make faces and not bring that up in the middle of conversation. There's a bow - he ducks into one of his own a second late, awkwardly - and then they're moving.
It's already So Much. He doesn't trip! Points for Merlin!]
Stolen, no— I didn't come here with anybody. But you should meet her, she's quite smart- Rosalind, red hair, a bit short? [Well, relatively, considering Merlin- Merlin who also should probably call her Dr. Lutece, but never mind that-] She's wearing green, wherever she's gone.
If I wanted a smart girl I could chat up my sister. Well, I couldn't as she's trapped up there in a bloody pod and I haven't quite worked out a way to fix that yet but...
[He reels them around before they doubly hipcheck another couple, blinking for a minute before starting in another direction. This is either dancing or a fairground ride.]
Smart girls feel a little too close to home. Unless the green she's wearing is cut very low. What you're wearing, though - it suits you. Better than that - was it a sack, before?
[It's so rare that Merlin encounters someone who talks just as much as he does, but maybe the feeling that Monty changes topics at a mile a minute is just from the added confusion of trying to stay poised and not smash into anyone while being steered around the floor like this. He's doing great.]
It's- it's cut some way? I wasn't looking. [She's like, way older than him, he's pretty sure--]
That was my coat, by the way, and I fixed up the tears myself. It looks just fine!
[Aw, good, he remembers. That's nice enough that Merlin sputters out a laugh at being essentially called a potato, instead of getting fussier about it.]
What if I like dressing like a potato? It'd be your duty to support that, wouldn't it?
I don't think so. It would be my duty to persuade you that there are finer things in life than sackcloth, and even potatoes would probably wear velvet given the chance.
[The music shifts abruptly to something far too slow to canter about to, and Monty's thrown for a moment - pausing to work out how things should realign.]
Besides. [He smooths a hand along Merlin's shoulder, thoughtfully.] I'd like to see you in it. I hadn't realised how handsome you were.
[And that, the moment the music changes, is the moment Merlin stumbles over his own feet. It's hardly enough to be a disruption, let alone a full-scale topple to the ground, but it's noticeable enough for him to make another face, sheepish for the brief moment it takes him to collect himself again.
The slower tempo is closer to his earlier dance with Rosalind, so maybe he'll actually do better at this one. Fingers crossed. He doesn't mind the compliment at all, but reacts with the same almost surprised chuckle as a moment ago.]
I can't be handsome in sackcloth? Perhaps I should give up coats entirely. [Jokes.....] Or you could get me a very fine velvet bag for my potatoes.
[Monty catches that stumble quite gracefully, managing not only not to trip over himself but, with a degree of foresight, to use the little backward reel that comes after it to step forward until there's barely a gap between them. Not so much dancing partner as prop: it should mean Merlin can't tumble to the floor but only directly into Monty in future.
And Monty wouldn't mind that too much.]
Narcissus himself couldn't be handsome in sackcloth. Besides, it's not just wearing the thing, is it? It's wearing it well enough that someone else would want to take it off.
[Oh, well- that's helpful, in its way. The stumble shakes more glitter out of his hair, making him blink down at Monty only somewhat owlishly. He isn't intending to actually fall on anyone mid-dance, but he can't seem to find anything objectionable about being suddenly so close, either. Glitter? Maybe. It's certainly the glitter that's making him forget about being in the middle of a public floor.]
You already want to take off my potato coat, and I'm not even wearing it now. [So by that logic... this he says with a little grin, like it's the funniest thing ever and he is so, so clever.]
I could just wear this coat all the time, but I'm not sure if I have to return this suit.
I only want to take it off to get you to put something else on, though, that hardly counts. If it was something decent - lilac velvet with lace at the cuffs and a French frilled cravat, say, that might be different. Something difficult to get off: I like the challenge.
[He brushes a hand idly down Merlin's lapels on the next turn. It's fine enough fabric if dowdy for the modern (regency) taste. And, of course, he doesn't actually care in the least what jacket Merlin is wearing (so long as it's not sackcloth), it's far more done for the excuse to touch. He really is tall and doesn't wear it terribly well, but when he relaxes there's the distinct impression that he could.]
But what if something terrible were to happen to this coat? You couldn't return it then.
[It's so specific, this coat idea, whatever a French frilled cravat is. He feels a bit like his dancing prowess has regressed to rotating in place, but that doesn't matter so much now.]
What kind of terrible thing is going to happen? I think I could tolerate a few degrees of terrible, since- [and here his entire argument is about to go up in smoke, he knows, considering,] I didn't pay for it in the first place.
[He might as well be honest. Percy makes everything he wears look good, somehow, but that doesn't mean that the coat wasn't memorable for its own merits. Monty tries, but lilac perhaps isn't his colour to pull off.]
And it would be no good staining it, or letting it singe on one of the candles here, that would quite defy the object. What if someone held it hostage, though? Until whoever loaned it to you gives it up as lost?
[He makes a face, faux-concerned about his coat actually catching fire. That does sound like the kind of thing that happens to him, but he doesn't think that's really going to happen...]
I suppose I'd have to make a few good excuses and not wear it around him ever again.
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onlyembers
text (3am) | un: priorly
Date: 2017-11-01 09:33 pm (UTC)text
Date: 2017-11-02 12:04 am (UTC)hllo
[yes that's perfect]
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Date: 2017-11-02 12:07 am (UTC)Oh thank god. Help me?
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Date: 2017-11-02 12:09 am (UTC)whats rwong
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Date: 2017-11-02 12:15 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2017-11-02 12:17 am (UTC)thatn a what
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Date: 2017-11-02 12:24 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2017-11-02 12:27 am (UTC)what [LONG PAUSE IN TYPING.....] am i suppoesd to do abotu that
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Date: 2017-11-02 01:25 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2017-11-02 01:31 am (UTC)do yuou need me to cmoe fight somthineg with a broom
i'm afraid a brooms thebest i can d o ons hort notice
[Magic broom, though.]
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Date: 2017-11-02 01:33 am (UTC)[Which is how audio to text interprets a short burst of laughter.]
I don't think a broom would quite be her match.
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Date: 2017-11-02 01:35 am (UTC)[He could probably set it on fire with his mind? Would that help? Anyway--]
i cuold sit outside the dor
door
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Date: 2017-11-02 02:24 am (UTC)[The trouble with audio to text translation is it picks up everything.]
You leave me alone. LEAVE ME ALONE. Oh, mercy, does heaven have no limits to its jurisdiction?
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Date: 2017-11-02 02:28 am (UTC)i am cmoning over there hlod on
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Date: 2017-11-02 03:14 am (UTC)No don't - I don't know how long I can hold on. Stay with me.
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Date: 2017-11-02 03:26 am (UTC)[Like, his typing skill really won't be impacted by jogging a few blocks in the dark anyway. He's still here.]
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Date: 2017-11-15 06:36 pm (UTC)GOLD GLITTER
Date: 2017-12-22 03:51 am (UTC)It's been a splendid time so far. He's thoroughly foxed on the free drinks, having stolen nowhere near enough canapes to mop them up, and he's stolen three mistletoe kisses with two absurdly curvy young maidens and... one unsettlingly muscular octogenarian but there's no need to dwell on that.
The problem now is that there's a dusting of gold glitter all over him - across his shoulders, in his hair, and no one to dance with. Everyone's paired off in advance of him reaching the floor.
Or almost everyone. Across the way he spots a tall, dark, somewhat gangly figure and - praise any old god who might be listening - he recognises him. The other boy might even told him his name, once. A few times, even.
No matter. Monty pursues him across the floor.]
Hey, you there. Tree person. Um. Forest boy? I say, hold on a moment, won't you?
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Date: 2017-12-22 04:37 am (UTC)But really what he's doing is just milling around, idle. He's not interested in winding up on the floor in record time, so the free drinks are out, and the longer this party goes on, the more people are retiring to privacy for one reason or another... hmm.
He doesn't turn for "tree person," but "forest boy" right after does get him to look around, somehow. Maybe later he'll stop and think about just how many ridiculous things he'll answer to, but-]
Merlin. [...] Again. Hello.
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Date: 2017-12-30 03:13 am (UTC)Yes, it was something like that. Hello, it's splendid to see you with less bruises. Dance with me?
[If there were a bush to beat around when it comes to asking the important questions, Monty would have just set it on fire. But he's glitter-addled and the need is pressing.
He's also about 5'6"]
There are plenty of men dancing with men here so no one will mind, although if you could stoop a bit that might be for the best.
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Date: 2017-12-30 05:38 am (UTC)[He has to make this objection, despite a) answering to "forest boy" and b) being a curmudgeon about people making a fuss about his very name all the time, anyway. Please, just listen once. But this seems to be his only objection, as he moves away from whatever quiet spot he was about to loiter in and closer to Monty, ostensibly to actually dance.]
Maybe you should stand up on your toes.
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Date: 2017-12-30 05:51 am (UTC)[Be reasonable. Monty tries to make the comment chastising, which is very hard when his mouth is also attempting to smile its way right across his face. No other objections? Good.
Oh also, Merlin's being the lady in this equation. Or that's how he's going to try to set his arms up.]
Maybe I should stand on your toes?
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Date: 2017-12-30 05:55 am (UTC)I only know the man's steps, by which I mean I've only known them for about an hour or two and only for one go.
[Which is also not an objection - the glitter's still falling, although not as energetically as before, which might have something to do with it - but something like a... warning? Can Monty be patient for his clumsy limbs?]
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Date: 2017-12-30 06:01 am (UTC)People are doing things I've never seen before out there. I think the main thing is, hm.
[If he's to do it at all properly then he'd better step back and bow - which he does - before attempting to sweep Merlin up and vaguely launch both of them into the music, trusting it will work itself out.]
Have I stolen a dance partner from some fair maiden, then? Point her out, we can wave as we pass.
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Date: 2017-12-30 06:07 am (UTC)It's already So Much. He doesn't trip! Points for Merlin!]
Stolen, no— I didn't come here with anybody. But you should meet her, she's quite smart- Rosalind, red hair, a bit short? [Well, relatively, considering Merlin- Merlin who also should probably call her Dr. Lutece, but never mind that-] She's wearing green, wherever she's gone.
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Date: 2017-12-30 06:14 am (UTC)[He reels them around before they doubly hipcheck another couple, blinking for a minute before starting in another direction. This is either dancing or a fairground ride.]
Smart girls feel a little too close to home. Unless the green she's wearing is cut very low. What you're wearing, though - it suits you. Better than that - was it a sack, before?
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Date: 2017-12-30 06:18 am (UTC)It's- it's cut some way? I wasn't looking. [She's like, way older than him, he's pretty sure--]
That was my coat, by the way, and I fixed up the tears myself. It looks just fine!
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Date: 2017-12-30 06:22 am (UTC)[Specifically in the low cut area. Look, he's just helping a brother out.]
But those were patches on that thing, not some form of moss? [Well. Eyebrows raise.] Would you like me to buy you a coat?
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Date: 2017-12-30 06:24 am (UTC)I should think you ought to try remembering my name before buying me things, so no thank you.
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Date: 2017-12-30 06:33 am (UTC)[Now that he wants something. He's had a little too much champagne to be quite sure why he wants it, but the fact is Merlin must have a coat.]
You saved my life! It's my duty and my debt not to let you go around dressed as a potato any longer.
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Date: 2017-12-30 06:37 am (UTC)What if I like dressing like a potato? It'd be your duty to support that, wouldn't it?
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Date: 2017-12-30 06:41 am (UTC)[The music shifts abruptly to something far too slow to canter about to, and Monty's thrown for a moment - pausing to work out how things should realign.]
Besides. [He smooths a hand along Merlin's shoulder, thoughtfully.] I'd like to see you in it. I hadn't realised how handsome you were.
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Date: 2017-12-30 06:47 am (UTC)The slower tempo is closer to his earlier dance with Rosalind, so maybe he'll actually do better at this one. Fingers crossed. He doesn't mind the compliment at all, but reacts with the same almost surprised chuckle as a moment ago.]
I can't be handsome in sackcloth? Perhaps I should give up coats entirely. [Jokes.....] Or you could get me a very fine velvet bag for my potatoes.
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Date: 2017-12-30 07:42 am (UTC)And Monty wouldn't mind that too much.]
Narcissus himself couldn't be handsome in sackcloth. Besides, it's not just wearing the thing, is it? It's wearing it well enough that someone else would want to take it off.
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Date: 2017-12-30 07:51 am (UTC)You already want to take off my potato coat, and I'm not even wearing it now. [So by that logic... this he says with a little grin, like it's the funniest thing ever and he is so, so clever.]
I could just wear this coat all the time, but I'm not sure if I have to return this suit.
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Date: 2017-12-30 08:18 am (UTC)[He brushes a hand idly down Merlin's lapels on the next turn. It's fine enough fabric if dowdy for the modern (regency) taste. And, of course, he doesn't actually care in the least what jacket Merlin is wearing (so long as it's not sackcloth), it's far more done for the excuse to touch. He really is tall and doesn't wear it terribly well, but when he relaxes there's the distinct impression that he could.]
But what if something terrible were to happen to this coat? You couldn't return it then.
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Date: 2017-12-30 08:26 am (UTC)[It's so specific, this coat idea, whatever a French frilled cravat is. He feels a bit like his dancing prowess has regressed to rotating in place, but that doesn't matter so much now.]
What kind of terrible thing is going to happen? I think I could tolerate a few degrees of terrible, since- [and here his entire argument is about to go up in smoke, he knows, considering,] I didn't pay for it in the first place.
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Date: 2018-01-01 04:45 am (UTC)[He might as well be honest. Percy makes everything he wears look good, somehow, but that doesn't mean that the coat wasn't memorable for its own merits. Monty tries, but lilac perhaps isn't his colour to pull off.]
And it would be no good staining it, or letting it singe on one of the candles here, that would quite defy the object. What if someone held it hostage, though? Until whoever loaned it to you gives it up as lost?
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Date: 2018-01-01 04:52 am (UTC)I suppose I'd have to make a few good excuses and not wear it around him ever again.