[Phone!!! But ah, no, he sees the word "help" and he's sliiightly more attentive. As much as he can be, half-asleep. And his typing skills still don't improve—]
[He's getting the feeling he's missing some really important context here, but as he is not in the business of asking people about their boners, he'll skip wondering how these things are related. Perfect!]
do yuou need me to cmoe fight somthineg with a broom i'm afraid a brooms thebest i can d o ons hort notice
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text
hllo
[yes that's perfect]
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Oh thank god. Help me?
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whats rwong
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thatn a what
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what [LONG PAUSE IN TYPING.....] am i suppoesd to do abotu that
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do yuou need me to cmoe fight somthineg with a broom
i'm afraid a brooms thebest i can d o ons hort notice
[Magic broom, though.]
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[Which is how audio to text interprets a short burst of laughter.]
I don't think a broom would quite be her match.
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[He could probably set it on fire with his mind? Would that help? Anyway--]
i cuold sit outside the dor
door
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[The trouble with audio to text translation is it picks up everything.]
You leave me alone. LEAVE ME ALONE. Oh, mercy, does heaven have no limits to its jurisdiction?
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i am cmoning over there hlod on
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No don't - I don't know how long I can hold on. Stay with me.
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[Like, his typing skill really won't be impacted by jogging a few blocks in the dark anyway. He's still here.]
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